Calling All Supermoms: And You Are ALL Supermoms

I haven’t blogged in a while and who knows when I’ll have a thought good enough to share again, but I felt like today was a good time to share this. Perhaps someone needs to hear it, or perhaps just I need to hear it. Maybe one or two will actually read it and once again I’ll feel totally exposed by opening up my thoughts and heart to others. But I’m hoping someone will realize their Supermom power with me. It’s a term that I’ve never felt describes me because of all my imperfections, but I’ve come to realize that we are all Supermoms. I’m hoping someone will have a glimpse at who they are and realize too that they aren’t inferior, unsuccessful, unimportant, unappreciated. I’m hoping someone will see that just being a mom who cares about and loves her kids in turn makes her Supermom. We don’t need to be Pinterest perfect. We don’t need to have it all together. By just caring for our kids, we have hidden powers, alternate identities, and strengths that we don’t even realize. So here goes…

Yesterday, as I was working on making their costumes, my kids asked me what I’m going to be for Halloween. I answered “I’m going to be a Mom-With-A-Baby-Strapped-To-Me-Who-Has-A-Dinosaur-Pet-Costume-Attached-To-His-Carrier because I saw it on Pinterest and it looked like a good idea for $5.” They gave me a look like I had two heads and I thought well, tomorrow I’ll have 3 heads… But then I had a thought (because you know, us moms have inner dialogues in our heads all day long) and decided at that moment that I’m also going to wear a cape too.

My cape isn’t a bright red cape with a giant S on it, or a glittery pink cape that grabs your attention. No, my cape is one with a few holes in it. It’s black, an understated color, and has been sitting in my kids’ closet for a long time. It has been there since he insisted I make him a Darth Vader costume so I went out and bought fabric and spent my time sewing him a costume and cape only to have him be given a fancy store-bought Vader costume by a generous grand parent. So there sits this sad little cape at the bottom of their toy closet, and this Halloween I’m claiming it as mine.

I’m going to wear this holey, understated, too small, inconspicuous cape that blends in with my black clothing on Halloween because for once I realized that I am Supermom. And that’s the kind of Supermom I am. I’m a little worn and ragged, like my cape. I’m not the kind of Supermom that stands out and screams “I’m a super hero, hear me roar!” My cape, like a lot of my clothes, is a little small. It’s not big enough to take me to the top of the world, but it’s just the right size to help me leap when I need to. It’s nothing fancy or shiny or new. It often goes unnoticed and doesn’t try and grab your attention but if you look close enough you just might see it. That’s me in a nutshell.

So it may be late, just the day before Halloween, but I challenge all of you moms out there to be the Supermom that you are. Find a cape that suits you, and wear it with honor this Halloween. And if someone asks what you are dressed as, you can proudly answer “I’m Supermom”.

You all are Supermoms. WE all are Supermoms. To the mom who takes care of her kids day in and day out with no sign of gratitude other than the possibility of a hug (and sometimes that hug is enough to make you cry): You are Supermom. To the “Martha Stewart Mom” who bakes all her fancy cupcakes and homemade soups and has her make-up perfect with a bow on top and we see you in the supermarket and are totally enamored and jealous of how much you’ve got it together, whether you really do or just look like you do: You are Supermom. To the mom who is about to have her 9^th child and her husband is always away on business so she is often the end-all and be-all to her family but feels like she’s at the bottom of a never-ending pit of laundry and errands and doctor’s appointments and house cleaning: You are Supermom. To the mom who has one child, her husband works from home and is very active with raising your child, who has a nice clean home as only a mom of one can have: You are Supermom. To the single mom who has to work to provide for her child and is too tired to think of her superpowers: You are Supermom. To the mom who gave up her child for adoption to give that child the life she wishes for her, who thinks about that child regularly but never gets to see the smile and love in her eyes as a mother deserves to see: You are Supermom. To the mom who adopted her child, who gets stupid, inconsiderate comments like “You became a mom the easy way”, who doesn’t openly wear a sign with her story to avoid such comments: You are Supermom. To the mom who went through years of hormones and tests and IVF and all that you endured to become a mom: You are a Supermom. To the mom who home schools her children, never getting a break, always trying to figure out how to best teach her child, doing everything in her power to have her child achieve their best and be their happiest: You are a Supermom. To the mom who sends her child to traditional school, who spends all day thinking about her kids and wondering how their day is going, if they are understanding their lessons, how much home work they will have tonight, worrying about bullies and all that goes on in school among their peers: You are Supermom. To the mom who feels guilty for all her imperfections and worries how they may be affecting her children: You are Supermom. To the mom who baby wears, carrying all the weight of her child herself: You are Supermom. To the mom who stays home to hand out candy so all the neighborhood children have a safe door to knock on and a bowl full of treats waiting for them: You are Supermom. To the mom who cosleeps: You are Supermom. To the mom who endures the “cry it out method”: You are Supermom. To the mom who buys expensive Halloween costumes for her kids so they can be the character they always wanted: You are Supermom. To the mom who makes her children’s costumes to show thriftiness or out of necessity to save money: You are Supermom. To ALL the different types of moms out there, with all her different stories and different backrounds and different emotions and feelings and worries and parenting styles: You are ALL Supermom.

 

So this Halloween, I invite you to wear your cape. Maybe it’s a sheet you pull out of the closet. Maybe it’s a fancy sparkly one. Maybe it’s a holy, child’s one. Maybe it’s a pretty store-bought one. Maybe it’s a home made one. Maybe it’s a big, huge cape that helps you soar to great heights. Maybe it’s a small, little one that helps you take leaps and big jumps because the idea of soaring with the eagles right now is a little too scary. Whatever cape represents you, wear your cape. Wear it proud. Wear it strong. YOU are Supermom.

Why We Started Homeschooling

WRITTEN OCTOBER - 2013

Well, we did it. We took the plunge! We have started McLain Institute of Technology (aka “MIT”). Two boys, one mommy, and one daddy who helps when he can (I write this after he just worked 87.5 hours last week, yet still had time to review Cub Scouts and Awana with both boys, plus do a few online lessons with our Kinderkid). Can’t forget the grandparents who are excellent at contributing to the extracurricular activities and moral support of the educators! When I say we started, I mean we JUST started… like last week. So, I will be trying to write on here and spare my Facebook friends of the home school details as much as I can.

The first thing we have learned about home schooling is that people ask “why” pretty quickly. The short answer is that we are homeschooling because it is what we have decided is best for our family. That's the answer we have been told by other homeschoolers to use when asked. It saves arguments, explanations, excuses, etc. Not everyone understands our choices, nor do they need to.

The medium-length answer is that it is what is best for our oldest son (now a first grader), Aidan, and our family. We are not happy with the school options we have here in Raleigh, NC. Yes, it is the 6th largest school district in the nation, but we have found that isn't always a positive thing. Our "base school" was not up to par, with many issues of its’ own, including low scores, low ratings, overfull classes, and more. That was Kindergarten. We switched him to a different school, a magnet, when he started first grade this August. It was our 5th choice school, and only on the list to get us out of our base school. We like the concept they switched to this year, a Leadership and Language Academy, based on Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", but when they went magnet, they became an "overflow" school and took on those problems, plus the ones they already had. PLUS, Aidan went from loving math to hating it in just one month. Not good for a kid who claims he was "born to build" and has wanted to be a builder/engineer since he could talk and tell us. He also started having some social anxieties and separation anxiety, which he never had until starting public school. Yes, we tried looking at other schools as an option. The “good schools” that are public in our area are mostly capped, hard to get in to. The Magnets (which are still public) are the same. The Charters are limited and also hard to get in to. So, we made the decision that was best for our son and family...

The long answer is all of the above, plus since before putting our oldest son (now about to turn 7) in Kindergarten last year, we battled with the decision of whether to home school or not. I home schooled his preschool on and off, learning while doing it that he has a mind that keeps on going and doesn't ever think small. This scared me so I wanted to try and have someone “more patient” work with him. I learned that I can't let it scare me and need to let his mind grow and I'll just try and keep up. I also learned that no one will be as patient with my kid as I will. His Dad and I have his best interest in mind, not someone who has 24 other students to worry about.





Because Building Makes Our World Go 'Round (also pajama day)

I don't home school to make geniuses that can speak 6 languages by the age of 3, or read The Iliad by 5… I home school to help my children become the best them they can be, hopefully. I home school to nurture their minds, not hinder them. I home school to keep them interested in learning. I home school to help them find what makes them who they are but better. I home school to help Aidan “build” his mind. I home school Noah to help him find what interests him most. I home school to use the tools that peak my children’s interest. I home school to teach them God comes first.


I’ve always admired home school moms. I’ve categorized those moms in a league of their own. Have always said that I can tell a “home school mom” apart from others because they are more patient, more calm, use everything as a life lesson, speak kinder to their children, softer to their children, have better behaved children. They have an air about them, are closer to God, have a “home school glow”… and so on. I’m not one of those moms. I’m not patient. I’m not calm. I don’t glow. Right now I just pray. A LOT. And I pray mostly for grace. Because I could tell before we got on this ride that it’s going to take grace to get every one in my family, ESPECIALLY ME, through this. But it is what is best for our family.



MIT School Room

So, here we are, the beginning of October, 2013. We have a 1^st grader in MIT, and have advanced Noah to Kindergarten. North Carolina wouldn’t put Noah in Kindergarten until next year, but he is basically where Aidan was with his reading and math when Aidan started Kindergarten, so we are trying to have Noah in Kindergarten. We will see how that goes. I was planning on having both boys do their Bible study, Science, Art, Architecture, and Music together and have them do their Reading/Writing and Math separately. Noah is insisting on doing everything Aidan does. So, I am letting him do it at his pace for now. Considering there is much review in the curriculum for Aidan right now, Noah can follow along pretty well however I’m guessing that there will wind up being more of a gap between them in upcoming weeks. As I’ve been told “it’s a lot of trial and adjustment” to home school your kids and at some point you realize, somewhere along the line, you got it right. I’m hoping that is the case.

So for now, we start MIT with a lot of prayer. We pray for:

·         GRACE

·         Patience

·         Obedience

·         Wisdom

·         And that I don’t screw up my kids too far beyond God’s ability to repair

Feel free to pray for our family too! This is what is best for our family.

OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OK, So I have to tell you, this is absolutely true. All of my "On The Bright Side" posts are true, but this sounds so outlandish that I have to tell you ahead of time it is 100% true and happened today! UY!!!!


While walking through the supermarket with my husband and two sons, we start to notice a horrible stench. We come to realize that the horrible stench is coming from, yep, you guessed it: ME! I asked my youngest "Does Mommy smell bad?" His response was, "PEEE U Mommy! You stink!" My husband agreed and started walking several feet away from me. He told me I smelled like bad B.O. I was mortified! I had been to church, out to lunch with my family, and now was in the supermarket apparently offending everyone. The only thing we could think of was that I had some garlic in my dinner last night and I must be sweating it out.

So, we drove home, with the windows wide open because I was filling up the car with my assumed body odor. As soon as I got in the house I stripped down to a) see if the smell was coming from me or my clothing and b) take the longest, hottest shower possible to get rid of the odor. What should I find as I tore off my clothing (out of disgust) but a grilled onion stuck in my cleavage from falling out of my burger at lunch! AN ONION!!!! I had been offending my family and the world with an onion in my cleavage! UGH! Mommydome! (Or should I say Mommy-dumb?)


On The Bright Side: While gagging my husband at the supermarket, he informed me that I have NEVER smelled so bad - EVER. In all our years of marriage, through all the kids' projectile vomiting on mommy, dirty diapers, flu seasons, Rotovirus hospitalizations, morning sickness... through it all, the good news is that I have NEVER SMELLED SO BAD - ever.

PLUS, I apparenlty smelled so bad that I helped us get through the line faster as I literally "cleared the way" with my 3 foot radius of stench! (Hubby just informed me as he read this over my shoulder that is was more like a 4-foot radius)


PS - I don't know if I have ever been so embarassed in my life! That's what I get for trying to put stickers on my son's toy car while eating my lunch - mommy multi tasking as usual.

OTBS #35 - Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid...

  My 4 and 6 year old boys insisted that I stay upstairs in bed as they had been making breakfast all morning. I am afraid, very afraid…

On The Bright Side: When I went down stairs there was no mess.

On The Dark Side: They made Doritos, apple sauce and Nerds for breakfast.

On The Brighter Side: They didn’t make any for me!

OTBS #34 - Always Blue Skies

We are on our way to the beach. The car is loaded with snacks, beach toys, sunscreen, supplies, all of us and an extra kid to boot. And now it's starting to rain.

On The Bright Side: There's always a blue sky behind the clouds.

OTBS #33 - Professional Catcher

         All of a sudden my three year old has gotten in the habit of putting so much food in his mouth to eat that he is literally choking on his food now. I’ve had to Heimlich him a couple of times and he has thrown up from choking on his food more than a handful of times.

On The Bright Side: From all the years of my other child, the gagger, throwing up I’ve become an expert vomit catcher. Yep. I can catch projectile vomit in my hands like a pro. At the sign of a gag my hands turn into catchers' mitts and save all sorts of things from clothing to carpets to beds to perfectly good plates of food… Yep. That’s part of my job description as a mom now. Spectacular.

WHO AM I?

Who am I?

What is my purpose?

Why am I here?

Who am I supposed to be?

What am I supposed to do?

Am I doing all that I should?

Am I being the person I am meant to be?

For as long as I can remember I have asked myself these questions over and over, in various ways. I have often felt lost, or not understood my purpose. I feel like I am constantly trying to figure that out, especially since I became a mom. I know the obvious answers, that as a Christian I am supposed to:

• Lead by example.
• Love everyone.
• Show God’s love to everyone.
• Raise my children to love (and fear) God.
• Thrive to be as Christ-like as I can in this world (always ask “What would Jesus do?”).

But I still often feel lost.

We all know the verse “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (Jeremiah 1:5). This is a comforting verse. It means that God planned us, each and every one of us. God had a plan for each of us, our very own plan. It’s an amazing, comforting, overwhelming, and scary thought.

Well, this Sunday, at our wonderful new church Crossroads Fellowship, Pastor Chuck Milian opened my eyes, as he frequently does, to something incredible! He quoted verses and explained something further. If you can, I suggest going to the website and listening to the sermon from this past Sunday. If you can’t listen to the whole thing go to the last ¼ of the sermon. If I could figure it out I would link to just that portion of the sermon and put it up here, but I can’t so you will have to do a little leg work… But it’s worth it. Go there now! (Pick the sermon "Fault Lines: 7 Dimensions of Disaster  Week 3: Degenerations") 

What I can do is paraphrase what he said, in how it touched me, and share that with you. But really, go listen to the sermon…

Background verses:

¹⁷ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. (Revelation 2:17 NIV)

¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)

3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,^[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:1-2 NIV)

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV)

What does this mean? Well, in the Revelations verse, the white stone has our name written on it. The background history is that back in the day, there were two reasons someone would receive a white stone. The first was in court, when a judge would deem someone free to go and that they weren’t guilty they would receive a white stone from him to prove his innocence. By God giving us a white stone it is His way of telling us our sins are forgiven, that we are not guilty, and are free. The second reason you would receive a white stone in biblical days was when a rich man would invite you to a feast. It was an invitation. By us receiving a white stone with our name on it means that Jesus has also given us a ticket to enter into the feast in the Kingdom of God. Pretty great, right?

But what does this also mean? That name that is written on the stone is the name that God gave to us. It is known only to the one who reads it. It is the name that God named us in the womb, before we were in the womb in fact, and it is the person He created us to be! WOW! And when we die, and are at the gates of heaven, and receive this stone that is meant only for us, we will each and every one of us learn our true name! And at that very moment we will KNOW who we are! We will know our purpose. We will know why we were in existence. We will know what our true accomplishments on this earth were and what they meant to God. We will know, without a doubt, our purpose and our identity as defined by God!

WOW! How profound this message was. So WHO AM I? I ask? Well, for all my struggling to try and figure out who I am, God has known all along. God has my purpose. God knows me. God defines me! Someday I will know the answer, but right now all I need to know is that God knows.

I don’t know how I can carry this with me from now on but I am going to try. When I feel lost, I am going to imagine my white stone, with my true name on it as God wrote it, waiting for me, because God loves me.

I emplore you to go on and view the sermon. It’s eye opening to say the least. I don't do it justice.

I'm A Wanna Be( #1)

I wanna be a great artist

And paint just like Monet.

I wanna be so creative

And make things every day,

Like clothes and scarfs and hats galore,

Pictures and paintings and so much more.

I wanna be so good at these

And do it with such ease.

I wanna be a great mom

And give them all that’s best.

I wanna be patient, kind

And loving, and never be a mess,

Like when I lose my temper or have to discipline,

When I’d rather just be their friend.

I wanna be so good at this

And be their every wish.

I wanna be a great wife

And do everything.

I wanna take care of him

And please him all his days.

Like when he’s tired coming home from work,

And doesn’t want more stress.

I wanna please my husband

And clean up after his mess.

I wanna be a great Christian

And be good for all my days.

I wanna be an example

And show His beautiful ways,

Like do good deeds, go on missions,

Spread His word, make good decisions.

I wanna do what will please

And make Him proud of me.

I wanna be a great citizen

And help all over the world.

I wanna be someone who helps

Each boy and little girl,

Like the hungry, tired and meek and poor,

All those who need so much more.

I wanna help wherever I can

All over the world and in our wonderful land.

I wanna be so much more

Than I can ever be.

I wanna do everything

That my heart can see,

Like these above but I never can

And instead I sit and hold my hands.

I wanna be so much more than these

But most of all, with me I want to be pleased.

Awww... Bless Your Heart

There is so much controversy about spanking or how to discipline your child these days. Books upon books are written, and articles and news stories and psychological studies. I know, I’ve read a ton of them. I’ve talked to a ton of people about it. I’ve asked opinions everywhere. I’ve picked the brains of many, including ministers, friends with children, friends without children, friends who were spanked growing up, friends who weren’t, friends who were abused, friends who weren’t, family, doctors, speech therapists, strangers. Everyone has a different answer or theory from the obvious “Spare the rod and spoil the child” to “If you spank your child it causes sexual deviation.” Really? So, I won’t tell you my opinion here about whether or not to spank your children, or whether or not we do, but what I will tell you is that as long as there is no abuse to how you discipline your child, the consensus is that it really comes down to how the parents feel, how the child reacts, and that you are consistent with your discipline and NEVER EVER hit out of anger.

What I will tell you is that we have decided, because of trying to avoid spanking, that we will on the rare occasion “pinch” our child when we have deemed it the appropriate punishment. This avoids spanking and is something that we barely have to use any pressure or inflict any pain but gets a good response where our rambunctious boys will quickly stop their unwanted behavior if threatened with. Whether you think it is wrong or not, it is what we are comfortable with.

The other day my husband, my two sons, and I were at the flea market. We put Noah, the three-year old, in his stroller for his own safety. There was a big enough crowd there and enough cars driving by that we felt he was safest confined to the stroller. While we were there Noah often tried to get out of the stroller. When he did he would walk with us for a little bit, then run off, which of course is dangerous as he could easily get lost or stolen. So, we decided to leave the flea market because it was proving difficult with Noah. On our way out, with Noah in his stroller, I admit something caught my eye and I stopped for a moment. Noah proceeded to try to climb out of his stroller again. My husband, Brian, simply said to him “If you climb out again I’m going to have to pinch you.” A woman a few feet away just had to say something to Brian, chiming in “Why don’t I pinch you!”

Really? Are we going to go there? Of course this situation escalated and things were said. In the end, Brian and I just wound up walking away from this ignorant woman and with this being the first time we were ever called out on something like this, and the first time we were ever accused of improperly treating our children, we spent the better part of the next couple of hours discussing it amongst ourselves. We talked about what happened with the kids, how we handled them, should we have handled them differently, what the woman said, what Brian said in response, and so on. Secretly I churned over in my mind that I should have come to my husband’s defense in the argument instead of just telling him to ignore her and walk away.  We did both agree of course, that if a child is truly being abused either one of us would step in and say something, or even call the police. In fact my husband once witnessed such a sad offense by a father, spanking his child over and over again for an extended length of time in a parking lot. He didn’t call the police and still to this day wishes he had. We learned a lesson from that experience.

What we did decide in the end is that the only thing we should have said to her was “Awww… Bless your heart.”

• Bless your heart that you too care so much about children.
• Bless your heart that you too want to protect all the children in the world.
• Bless your heart that you think the threat of a pinch, and not an actual pinch, is child abuse.
• Bless your heart that you feel so strongly about your convictions that you would stand up against my husband, who you now apparently believe is committing assault and battery against my son, who could pummel you in a second if he was in fact such a violent man.
• Bless your heart that you have a 6-month old in your stroller and have never had to discipline your child yet. When ours was 6-month old we too were completely against ever having to raise a hand or finger to our children and vowed that such forms of discipline are completely wrong. How could anyone ever even consider such a thing?!
• Bless your heart that you think from a short sentence said to our own child that we are scarring our child, and not in fact keeping him from immanent danger of getting run over by a car.
• Bless your heart that you didn’t see that as soon as my husband said such a horrible thing to my son he sat back down in his stroller without even fussing and was safe and sound.
• Bless your heart for not knowing that I once had to have an all afternoon and evening debate with myself and husband and call on various friends and family for advice on how to properly discipline my two children for their horrendous behavior that wound up with huge discussions on whether or not we should spank our children, what are proper forms of punishment, if spanking is correct, how to correctly spank, etc. etc. Yes, an abusive parent would do this…
• Bless your heart for not knowing that I once threatened to spank my son with a spoon, at the advice of my Italian friend, but never actually followed through with it. Yet the threat was good enough because he has never since done that same offense and sometimes when I ask him what he thinks his proper punishment should be for something he actually tells me I probably should spank him with a spoon because he did something so naughty. But yet, I’ve never actually done this or hit him with ANYTHING!
• Bless your heart that you have this tried and true Yankee saying, and now truly understanding, the meaning of “bless your heart.”
• Bless your heart that you can come to judge people so quickly and adamantly think your judgment is the correct one, no matter what is said.
• Bless your heart that you don’t know that we live and would die for our children and do everything in our power to protect and love our children.
• Bless your heart that you don’t know that we sacrifice EVERYTHING for our children and every decision we make in our lives now always involves thinking about how it will effect and benefit our children.
• Bless your heart that you don’t think you need to know someone’s situation before calling them out on something you know nothing about.
• Bless your heart that you have the gall to say such things to us, especially in front of our children and start a fight with us in front of our children.
• Bless your heart that no matter what is said you will stick to your guns and insist you are correct and that the police should be called on such horrible violence as the threat of a pinch.
• Bless your heart that you actually think the police would arrest someone for lightly pinching their son, even though you didn’t actually witness said offense.
• Bless your heart that you have never had a three-year old and five-year old son at the same time that you have to keep safe and sound at all times, no matter what they do, where they run, what they jump off of, what strangers they think are safe to go talk to, what plugs they think they can stick things into, what chemicals they think they should spray in their eyes AND taste…
• Bless your heart that you think child rearing is only black and white, with no shades of grey.

So, to parents out there, whether they think they have the answers or are still searching for the answers, I say just one thing to you: “Awww… Bless your heart.”

OTBS #32 - Too much to ask

All I want is a clean house, a happy family, and some sanity. Is that too much to ask?

On The Bright Side: It’s good to have goals.

OTBS #31 - Crazy 8

My kids are driving me crazy and it’s only 8am!

On The Bright Side: Chick-fil-A is open already! And they will even bring me my drink. Woo Hoo!

"The Most Important Interview You Will Ever Do"

The best inventions came from people who had a need or use for something. Velcro, scotch tape, Starbucks… Susan Fieldstein had a desire to remember her children’s sweetest moments as they were growing up, something I’m sure all of us moms can relate to. So for 18 years Susan conducted a Birthday Interview with her children. She would ask the same questions each year in an interview setting with her children starting during their toddler years and year after year caught these precious moments on tape (yes, it was tape back then…).  What she got was a lifetime of beautiful memories in the words of her children.

“As parents, we are sure that we will remember. How can we not? These are the most important memories we will ever have – the memories of our children growing up. From the time our daughters were toddlers until they turned 18, our family has conducted a Birthday Interview. This tape allows us to go back in time and hear their voices, to remember the gift of childhood.”

Susan recognized that this was in fact something that other parents could benefit from and created a kit to help parents save those cherished moments. This product is called “The Birthday Interview TM”. She has created a kit that makes it easy for us to benefit from her experience and success during this process. “My hope is that The Birthday Interview will become a cherished gift for your family,” says Susan.

I was able to watch Susan grow this product from concept to finish. I have one for our family and love it. My boys struggle to sit down for an interview but what I have gotten will be cherished for years to come. What Susan now offers in her Birthday Interview kit “is a keepsake box that contains everything you need to conduct an interview every year on your child’s birthday, using your video camera. Every year, add the party invitation, pictures, and any other special reminders to the keepsake box.”

The box contains:

• A booklet of suggested interview questions
• Tips for conducting the interview
• An instructional DVD with sample interview clips
• Custom Labels
• Storage for media

I love this product for our family. I think every family should have this kit. It should be a staple that you give when a child is born or at a baby shower, like diapers and bottles and baby books. It should be a standard for a birthday present and I’ve in fact given it as a gift to a few special children myself.

The Birthday Interview has been on shelves but now has an opportunity to go on a more massive scale. It has been entered in Walmart’s “Get On The Shelf” contest. Please, if you like what you see in the great video posted on the website, vote for this heartwarming kit created by a typical mom with some brilliant and creative ideas that she managed to bring to life. And if you are interested in purchasing some now, before Walmart picks it upyou can contact her directly at 910-256-3595.. Either way, check it out. What a great idea! Congratulations, Susan, and thank you for sharing your vision with us!

See part of one of Aidan's interviews from his birthday in 2010 by pressing the play button above.

DON’T JUST CHERISH THE MOMENTS BUT THE PEOPLE IN THE MOMENTS

It’s not just those special moments in life that we need to remember and cherish, but the people in those moments, especially the people that don’t have to be there but choose to be. I would like to think that I’m always grateful for our family for being a part of the big moments in my life, and I certainly hope I express that to them, but this is making homage the other people - the people that don’t have to be there, that aren’t expected to be there, but choose to be none-the less.

At our wedding, I knew it was a day we would remember forever, of course. I knew I would always have a special place in my heart for our minister that married us, and for the music that helped to make the day magical. But what I didn’t know at the time was how important our minister that sang at our wedding would wind up being in our life. She sings like an angel, which is why we asked her to sing at our wedding. Her rendition of The Lord’s Prayer is unforgettable and still brings goosebumps to my arms when I think about it. Yet there turned out to be more. She was pregnant with her first son at the same time I was, something that made me feel a little closer to her. She was at our first son’s baptism. She baptized our second son. She came to the baptism parties and the wedding reception. She came to my house and prayed over me when I was on bedrest with my second son (she couldn’t do it for the first because she was on bedrest but we came to her side instead). Laura chose to be such a memorable part of our cherished moments and I’m so grateful that I can see that now, after so many moments that she’s been there for. She is no longer our minister now. She has gotten to lead a wonderful church in a new town, and we have since moved. But Laura will always be in my heart. I knew she was a participant of these cherished moments at the time but I didn’t realize until later just how much I would cherish her for choosing to make the days special with us.

The same goes for some dear friends. I knew I would always remember my bridal shower, but how much I cherish the people that thought enough to throw it for me, and how much I recognize what a beautiful celebration they put together, now that the moment is over. They chose and volunteered to make that moment special. And the people that don’t throw the big moments but just choose to show up! How blessed I am to have them too. Clearly our wedding was our biggest day, and so I was honored to have my good friends there, but now I can see how many of them continued to show up! What blessings they are. You don’t think about how important the people are that come to your child’s birthday parties – you just think about making that moment special for your child. Remember to cherish the Alaina Kims and Gina Goods and Lisa Kings that bring their children to each party you throw, despite the 50 parties going on during “birthday party season.” Birthday parties just won’t be the same without them now (Since we’ve moved I think we might have to have a party back in Wilmington just so we can continue the memories with those friends that have become so dear). They now are the people that made those moments special, not just the moments themselves. Remember the Brock and Kailey Okines that drove two hours to be a part of your son’s fifth birthday party as a surprise. Those are the things I seem to remember more now than the actual moments themselves. I’ve also realized that I should have been taking group pictures of all the guests at these events because it’s amazing to see how many are repeat moment-blessers over the years and to remember the ones that were special enough at the time to come.

What about the “family friends” that become like family, but actually aren’t real family. So, they choose to be your family and they choose to make those moments special. Like the Rolquin family, who we’ve gotten to watch their beautiful children grow up, and now have been a part of our life and our children’s lives? They were the first friends I introduced my husband to, they were Bride’s Maid, Flower Girl and Ring Bearer in our wedding, they were at each shower, each baptism and are the Godparents of our youngest son. They threw our second son’s baby shower. We’ve taken amazing family vacations together that I will not only remember but will also remember that they were a part of. I’ll remember the bonfire on the deserted island, Jeremy voting his dad off the island, the happy birthday song they sang to me on the boat at Smith Mountain Lake, the blue bird house they gave me while we were away, the kids parties they showed up for even though they didn’t have little kids any more. Volunteering at the last minute to help us pack our condo up to move to a new city, when we realized we were a few people short. Cooking our whole family dinner for us that night.

I could go on and on, but I think the point is made. Don’t miss recognizing the people in the moment because you are caught up in the moment. The moment is nothing without the special people that care enough to be there even though they are not required to be. And maybe, just maybe, start telling them how important they are. Send them a note. Make a phone call. Write a blog… Let them know that they are what makes your moments beautiful.

When I was 8 years old my mom and dad got married. We moved to Manhattan. On moving day my mom’s friend Hack took me out to see some sights in Manhattan. He did it so my parents could move without me bothering or distracting them. What he actually did was create a moment for me that I’ve cherished forever just because he chose to be there. He took me to places in Manhattan I never saw before and have never been back to, particularly an underground subway museum. He taught me to remember my new address and phone number, and to this day I still remember those!  I remember the day and my time with him vividly.  I hadn’t seen him in 15 or more years but years later, when I was in my late 20s or early 30s I wrote him a letter, telling him how much he meant to me on that day. The details I remembered that he created by being there and that I was so grateful that he chose to be such an important part of my life on that day. I didn’t hear back from him but he did call my mom and told her how much it meant to him to hear from me and to hear about how he became such a memorable person in my life, totally unintentionally. He’s since passed away and I have no regrets because I told him.

So, my suggestion is to write a letter to someone who didn’t have to be there but was, someone who doesn’t know that they became so important to you on such a special day. Write just one letter. Then the next day, write another. Keep going until you run out of people or moments, then make more moments with more people. Don’t stop. Pay homage. Let them know. Become one of those people in one of their moments.

(To those I didn’t mention, there are too many to name, this is homage to you too. I love you all and cherish you all and am blessed by you all. I hope you know who you are, but if you don’t you just might be getting a letter from me in the future… but I am grateful for you just the same.)

Is Finding A Church Like Finding A Wedding Dress?

I recently made an analogy that seemed ridiculous at the time, but have since realized it may not be so silly. I’m looking for a new church for my family. We just moved to a new city and see this as an opportunity to find a church that suits all of our family’s needs. At our old church, we were married there, had our children baptized there, and made our church family there. When my husband once suggested trying out a newly built church in the same town I quickly turned him down, feeling like I was betraying our church and family.

Now that we have moved, we can open ourselves up to all possibilities. We made a mental list of what is important. The number one thing, of course, is that it is Christ based. After that comes what we feel would be beneficial for our children. I’m sure every family has different needs on that front but to us we needed something where the children weren’t expected to sit quietly through an adult service or any portion of it. Ours don’t sit quietly. They don’t do anything quietly. In fact I’m writing this as my 3-year old pounds on a drum symbol with a maraca… There are other factors we’ve considered in our search but I needn’t go into them here.

So I made several calls to churches I’ve seen in our new area checking to see if they meet our “criteria”. I’m doing the major searching because my husband will work most Sundays so I’ll be the primary attendee (secretly this has put a weeknight church service on my list of must-haves). I found a church that seems very interesting to me. It’s a “super church” so to speak with a large membership and A LOT going on, very different from what we came from. We came from a Methodist church with a 1200 person membership. This one probably is substantially larger, with 2 campuses and is “inter-denominational” led by a minister with a Lutheran background. I attended this church with my 2 young boys one time. The “contemporary-ness” of the church will take a little getting used to, but I feel like we hit the head on the mark with this church!

Here’s where I get ridiculous – I really feel like it’s like picking out my wedding dress. When I picked out my wedding dress I had a list of features that I thought I wanted. I looked around at ideas for a while, then when I went trying them on the first dress I tried seemed to be The One. But I couldn’t buy my wedding dress after trying only one on, and it was very different from what I thought I wanted. To hide some major body flaws, what I wanted was long-sleeves and a light weight fabric with an empire waist. What I tried on had very short sleeves, was off the shoulder, had a low waist and was a full and heavy, yet beautiful fabric. This couldn’t be it after trying on one dress, could it? So I tried on about thirty more. Really. The second one I tried was what I thought I wanted with the empire waist, long sleeves, light weight fabric yet it looked so matronly on me. I tried on many different versions of that dress, then various combinations of those features and features of the dress I tried on first. Then I tried on dresses that were similar to the first one but slightly different, finally realizing the first one was the dress that was perfect from the very beginning. It made me feel beautiful, it made me glow, it was different than I expected to find but perfect just the same.

How picking out a church is like picking out a wedding dress:

1. You’re scared to stick with the first one you tried on.
2. You can try on lots of different ones. The options out there are endless.
3. It can be overwhelming. Take a deep breath and step back for a little bit if you start feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
4. Making a list of what features are most important to you is helpful in knowing where to start.
5. Keep an open mind. You might think you know what you want, but once you start trying them on you find you have different preferences and needs than you originally thought.
6. It should be a fun experience, sometimes even a little emotional.
7. It’s always good to get a loved-one’s opinion on your final choice.
8. When you do make your decision there is a great sense of relief and accomplishment.
9. When you find the right one, you will know it.
10. Now get ready to shine!

That’s how I feel about looking for a church. I wanted to stick with a Methodist Church, small like our old church and as close to what we had as possible, just with more options for the kids. What I found has all the bells and whistles, and not at all like our old church. It’s still a white wedding dress, or in this case strongly Christ based, but a lot fancier and “shinier” than I thought I would be attracted to. A non-denomination, super church with contemporary music was not what was on my list. The question is, will I try on a lot of different churches when I think I found the right one from the start? Here’s where the church is unlike a wedding dress – I get to wear it for a while and see if I like it and can always try on another one at a later date and not be stuck with the original purchase! So, what I plan on doing is going to this six-part sermon series that the minister is doing, that I was lucky (and when I say lucky here I mean I think God intervened and worked it all out) enough to catch the first day of the series as my first sermon at this new church. After the 6 weeks I will decide if I will keep attending this church, but right now it looks like a hit on the first try and I would be so relieved to not have to try a bunch more dresses (churches) on in order to make my decision. I pray that finding a church is most like finding the wedding dress and less like finding the husband… I had a lot more heartbreaks before I found the right husband!

For those interested in learning more about the church I believe we will be calling our new home… It’s Crossroads Fellowship.

OTBS #30 - Good Day

Today was a good day.

On The Bright Side: I’ve really started to learn to recognize and enjoy a “good day” and just what a good day means to my family and to me.

OTBS #29 - Messy Meals

There is constantly food being dropped under my kids’ seats and getting all over the floor. It’s just a mess under there after every meal!

On The Bright Side: I don’t have to feed the dog any more. They just eat everything the kids drop under the table, 3 meals a day, 2 snacks a day… We’ve got one fat dog now though!

Grateful For A Playground Encounter

This being a new venue for me, I have no idea to what level I will be blogging but have felt compelled to write something about this woman and her family, who I’ve only met once. I promised her I’m not a stalker when we agreed to exchange Facebook info, and I hope I’m living up to that, but modern technology is amazing and I’ve been able to follow some of what her family is going through and doing through her blog site and Facebook page as well.

First a little background on how we met. As I’ve mentioned before, we recently moved to Raleigh, NC for my husband’s job, a place where I have no clue about, where anything is or how to get around. For instance the other day I asked my husband how to get somewhere and he said “Take the inner beltline.” My response was, or course in panic, “Just tell me if it’s 540 or 440!” Once he told me, I realized, I still didn’t know which one was where anyway and had to get explicit directions on how to get to “the inner beltline.”

Well, lucky for my kids and myself there is a playground at a park right outside of the community we live in – very easy to find. On a warm winter day I decided to take the boys there for some play time. While there, a nice lady and her family sat down at the table with us at lunch time. We started talking, as I’ve learned to do with strangers lately since often strangers are the only adult conversations I get to be a part of until my husband gets home at night. I found her to be pleasant to speak with and sort of in passing in the conversation she mentioned to me that their family is adopting a special needs child from Taiwan. I told her that I thought they must be very special people to take that on, but little did I know just how special. Well, since she also lives in the community we live in we decided to exchange Facebook info and went on our ways home for nap time for our little boys.

While at home I sent her a “friend request” and then got to look up a little more about her. Turns out she has a blog called “Dinglefest”. How interesting to me since I just started blogging, so I thought I would check it out. Here is where I now suggest anyone with a heart check out her Dinglefest blog. This lovely lady’s name is Shannon Dingle. She is documenting her family’s road to bringing home their new baby Zoe Amanda with Cerbral Palsey from Taiwan. Not only do they have beautiful hearts, clearly influenced by the Glory of God, but they have God Himself working to help them down this path they have chosen to follow. The fund raising that has occurred for them to get their little girl home is proof alone of His miracles. They have to raise $23,000, quickly, and started fund raising through their friends online. I watched them go from a few hundred dollars to around $1,500 in one day through their friends and the internet. They only had 2 days to come up with that money and didn’t know if it would happen, yet amazingly they raised those funds early. They have reached half of their goal now, around $13,000 which even includes a friend selling their car to make a monetary donation, and are planning on doing a few more fund raisers in the month of March, stopping at the end of March because they don’t want to be a “nuisance” to their friends.

Please, do read this amazing story and journey. People like this don’t come along every day, at least not to me. I constantly am wishing I could do more in this world, be more, share God’s glory more, and never can figure out where my place is in it all. Maybe today it’s just to share the message of one ordinary family doing extraordinary things, with God’s love showing them the way.

Go to http://www.dinglefest.com/ for more.

OTBS #28 - No big deal

Great. My husband AND my kids are sick in bed!

On The Bright Side: I take care of them all any way so, not much has changed here…

OTBS #27 - They are all against me!

I can’t ever keep or get the house clean. My kids are constantly working against me in that department.

On The Bright Side: I don’t have to stress about cooking or entertaining for my adult friends. Can’t have them over to a messy house so I guess I just won’t have to worry about that any more.

OTBS #26 - Excuses Excuses

Nice. My child threw up all over the sofa AND the carpet today.

On The Bright Side: Yay! I get to have the sofa and the carpet steam cleaned! And I have an excuse on why it just has to be done.