OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OK, So I have to tell you, this is absolutely true. All of my "On The Bright Side" posts are true, but this sounds so outlandish that I have to tell you ahead of time it is 100% true and happened today! UY!!!!


While walking through the supermarket with my husband and two sons, we start to notice a horrible stench. We come to realize that the horrible stench is coming from, yep, you guessed it: ME! I asked my youngest "Does Mommy smell bad?" His response was, "PEEE U Mommy! You stink!" My husband agreed and started walking several feet away from me. He told me I smelled like bad B.O. I was mortified! I had been to church, out to lunch with my family, and now was in the supermarket apparently offending everyone. The only thing we could think of was that I had some garlic in my dinner last night and I must be sweating it out.

So, we drove home, with the windows wide open because I was filling up the car with my assumed body odor. As soon as I got in the house I stripped down to a) see if the smell was coming from me or my clothing and b) take the longest, hottest shower possible to get rid of the odor. What should I find as I tore off my clothing (out of disgust) but a grilled onion stuck in my cleavage from falling out of my burger at lunch! AN ONION!!!! I had been offending my family and the world with an onion in my cleavage! UGH! Mommydome! (Or should I say Mommy-dumb?)


On The Bright Side: While gagging my husband at the supermarket, he informed me that I have NEVER smelled so bad - EVER. In all our years of marriage, through all the kids' projectile vomiting on mommy, dirty diapers, flu seasons, Rotovirus hospitalizations, morning sickness... through it all, the good news is that I have NEVER SMELLED SO BAD - ever.

PLUS, I apparenlty smelled so bad that I helped us get through the line faster as I literally "cleared the way" with my 3 foot radius of stench! (Hubby just informed me as he read this over my shoulder that is was more like a 4-foot radius)


PS - I don't know if I have ever been so embarassed in my life! That's what I get for trying to put stickers on my son's toy car while eating my lunch - mommy multi tasking as usual.

OTBS #35 - Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid...

  My 4 and 6 year old boys insisted that I stay upstairs in bed as they had been making breakfast all morning. I am afraid, very afraid…

On The Bright Side: When I went down stairs there was no mess.

On The Dark Side: They made Doritos, apple sauce and Nerds for breakfast.

On The Brighter Side: They didn’t make any for me!

OTBS #34 - Always Blue Skies

We are on our way to the beach. The car is loaded with snacks, beach toys, sunscreen, supplies, all of us and an extra kid to boot. And now it's starting to rain.

On The Bright Side: There's always a blue sky behind the clouds.

OTBS #33 - Professional Catcher

         All of a sudden my three year old has gotten in the habit of putting so much food in his mouth to eat that he is literally choking on his food now. I’ve had to Heimlich him a couple of times and he has thrown up from choking on his food more than a handful of times.

On The Bright Side: From all the years of my other child, the gagger, throwing up I’ve become an expert vomit catcher. Yep. I can catch projectile vomit in my hands like a pro. At the sign of a gag my hands turn into catchers' mitts and save all sorts of things from clothing to carpets to beds to perfectly good plates of food… Yep. That’s part of my job description as a mom now. Spectacular.

WHO AM I?

Who am I?

What is my purpose?

Why am I here?

Who am I supposed to be?

What am I supposed to do?

Am I doing all that I should?

Am I being the person I am meant to be?

For as long as I can remember I have asked myself these questions over and over, in various ways. I have often felt lost, or not understood my purpose. I feel like I am constantly trying to figure that out, especially since I became a mom. I know the obvious answers, that as a Christian I am supposed to:

• Lead by example.
• Love everyone.
• Show God’s love to everyone.
• Raise my children to love (and fear) God.
• Thrive to be as Christ-like as I can in this world (always ask “What would Jesus do?”).

But I still often feel lost.

We all know the verse “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (Jeremiah 1:5). This is a comforting verse. It means that God planned us, each and every one of us. God had a plan for each of us, our very own plan. It’s an amazing, comforting, overwhelming, and scary thought.

Well, this Sunday, at our wonderful new church Crossroads Fellowship, Pastor Chuck Milian opened my eyes, as he frequently does, to something incredible! He quoted verses and explained something further. If you can, I suggest going to the website and listening to the sermon from this past Sunday. If you can’t listen to the whole thing go to the last ¼ of the sermon. If I could figure it out I would link to just that portion of the sermon and put it up here, but I can’t so you will have to do a little leg work… But it’s worth it. Go there now! (Pick the sermon "Fault Lines: 7 Dimensions of Disaster  Week 3: Degenerations") 

What I can do is paraphrase what he said, in how it touched me, and share that with you. But really, go listen to the sermon…

Background verses:

¹⁷ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. (Revelation 2:17 NIV)

¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)

3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,^[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:1-2 NIV)

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV)

What does this mean? Well, in the Revelations verse, the white stone has our name written on it. The background history is that back in the day, there were two reasons someone would receive a white stone. The first was in court, when a judge would deem someone free to go and that they weren’t guilty they would receive a white stone from him to prove his innocence. By God giving us a white stone it is His way of telling us our sins are forgiven, that we are not guilty, and are free. The second reason you would receive a white stone in biblical days was when a rich man would invite you to a feast. It was an invitation. By us receiving a white stone with our name on it means that Jesus has also given us a ticket to enter into the feast in the Kingdom of God. Pretty great, right?

But what does this also mean? That name that is written on the stone is the name that God gave to us. It is known only to the one who reads it. It is the name that God named us in the womb, before we were in the womb in fact, and it is the person He created us to be! WOW! And when we die, and are at the gates of heaven, and receive this stone that is meant only for us, we will each and every one of us learn our true name! And at that very moment we will KNOW who we are! We will know our purpose. We will know why we were in existence. We will know what our true accomplishments on this earth were and what they meant to God. We will know, without a doubt, our purpose and our identity as defined by God!

WOW! How profound this message was. So WHO AM I? I ask? Well, for all my struggling to try and figure out who I am, God has known all along. God has my purpose. God knows me. God defines me! Someday I will know the answer, but right now all I need to know is that God knows.

I don’t know how I can carry this with me from now on but I am going to try. When I feel lost, I am going to imagine my white stone, with my true name on it as God wrote it, waiting for me, because God loves me.

I emplore you to go on and view the sermon. It’s eye opening to say the least. I don't do it justice.

I'm A Wanna Be( #1)

I wanna be a great artist

And paint just like Monet.

I wanna be so creative

And make things every day,

Like clothes and scarfs and hats galore,

Pictures and paintings and so much more.

I wanna be so good at these

And do it with such ease.

I wanna be a great mom

And give them all that’s best.

I wanna be patient, kind

And loving, and never be a mess,

Like when I lose my temper or have to discipline,

When I’d rather just be their friend.

I wanna be so good at this

And be their every wish.

I wanna be a great wife

And do everything.

I wanna take care of him

And please him all his days.

Like when he’s tired coming home from work,

And doesn’t want more stress.

I wanna please my husband

And clean up after his mess.

I wanna be a great Christian

And be good for all my days.

I wanna be an example

And show His beautiful ways,

Like do good deeds, go on missions,

Spread His word, make good decisions.

I wanna do what will please

And make Him proud of me.

I wanna be a great citizen

And help all over the world.

I wanna be someone who helps

Each boy and little girl,

Like the hungry, tired and meek and poor,

All those who need so much more.

I wanna help wherever I can

All over the world and in our wonderful land.

I wanna be so much more

Than I can ever be.

I wanna do everything

That my heart can see,

Like these above but I never can

And instead I sit and hold my hands.

I wanna be so much more than these

But most of all, with me I want to be pleased.

Awww... Bless Your Heart

There is so much controversy about spanking or how to discipline your child these days. Books upon books are written, and articles and news stories and psychological studies. I know, I’ve read a ton of them. I’ve talked to a ton of people about it. I’ve asked opinions everywhere. I’ve picked the brains of many, including ministers, friends with children, friends without children, friends who were spanked growing up, friends who weren’t, friends who were abused, friends who weren’t, family, doctors, speech therapists, strangers. Everyone has a different answer or theory from the obvious “Spare the rod and spoil the child” to “If you spank your child it causes sexual deviation.” Really? So, I won’t tell you my opinion here about whether or not to spank your children, or whether or not we do, but what I will tell you is that as long as there is no abuse to how you discipline your child, the consensus is that it really comes down to how the parents feel, how the child reacts, and that you are consistent with your discipline and NEVER EVER hit out of anger.

What I will tell you is that we have decided, because of trying to avoid spanking, that we will on the rare occasion “pinch” our child when we have deemed it the appropriate punishment. This avoids spanking and is something that we barely have to use any pressure or inflict any pain but gets a good response where our rambunctious boys will quickly stop their unwanted behavior if threatened with. Whether you think it is wrong or not, it is what we are comfortable with.

The other day my husband, my two sons, and I were at the flea market. We put Noah, the three-year old, in his stroller for his own safety. There was a big enough crowd there and enough cars driving by that we felt he was safest confined to the stroller. While we were there Noah often tried to get out of the stroller. When he did he would walk with us for a little bit, then run off, which of course is dangerous as he could easily get lost or stolen. So, we decided to leave the flea market because it was proving difficult with Noah. On our way out, with Noah in his stroller, I admit something caught my eye and I stopped for a moment. Noah proceeded to try to climb out of his stroller again. My husband, Brian, simply said to him “If you climb out again I’m going to have to pinch you.” A woman a few feet away just had to say something to Brian, chiming in “Why don’t I pinch you!”

Really? Are we going to go there? Of course this situation escalated and things were said. In the end, Brian and I just wound up walking away from this ignorant woman and with this being the first time we were ever called out on something like this, and the first time we were ever accused of improperly treating our children, we spent the better part of the next couple of hours discussing it amongst ourselves. We talked about what happened with the kids, how we handled them, should we have handled them differently, what the woman said, what Brian said in response, and so on. Secretly I churned over in my mind that I should have come to my husband’s defense in the argument instead of just telling him to ignore her and walk away.  We did both agree of course, that if a child is truly being abused either one of us would step in and say something, or even call the police. In fact my husband once witnessed such a sad offense by a father, spanking his child over and over again for an extended length of time in a parking lot. He didn’t call the police and still to this day wishes he had. We learned a lesson from that experience.

What we did decide in the end is that the only thing we should have said to her was “Awww… Bless your heart.”

• Bless your heart that you too care so much about children.
• Bless your heart that you too want to protect all the children in the world.
• Bless your heart that you think the threat of a pinch, and not an actual pinch, is child abuse.
• Bless your heart that you feel so strongly about your convictions that you would stand up against my husband, who you now apparently believe is committing assault and battery against my son, who could pummel you in a second if he was in fact such a violent man.
• Bless your heart that you have a 6-month old in your stroller and have never had to discipline your child yet. When ours was 6-month old we too were completely against ever having to raise a hand or finger to our children and vowed that such forms of discipline are completely wrong. How could anyone ever even consider such a thing?!
• Bless your heart that you think from a short sentence said to our own child that we are scarring our child, and not in fact keeping him from immanent danger of getting run over by a car.
• Bless your heart that you didn’t see that as soon as my husband said such a horrible thing to my son he sat back down in his stroller without even fussing and was safe and sound.
• Bless your heart for not knowing that I once had to have an all afternoon and evening debate with myself and husband and call on various friends and family for advice on how to properly discipline my two children for their horrendous behavior that wound up with huge discussions on whether or not we should spank our children, what are proper forms of punishment, if spanking is correct, how to correctly spank, etc. etc. Yes, an abusive parent would do this…
• Bless your heart for not knowing that I once threatened to spank my son with a spoon, at the advice of my Italian friend, but never actually followed through with it. Yet the threat was good enough because he has never since done that same offense and sometimes when I ask him what he thinks his proper punishment should be for something he actually tells me I probably should spank him with a spoon because he did something so naughty. But yet, I’ve never actually done this or hit him with ANYTHING!
• Bless your heart that you have this tried and true Yankee saying, and now truly understanding, the meaning of “bless your heart.”
• Bless your heart that you can come to judge people so quickly and adamantly think your judgment is the correct one, no matter what is said.
• Bless your heart that you don’t know that we live and would die for our children and do everything in our power to protect and love our children.
• Bless your heart that you don’t know that we sacrifice EVERYTHING for our children and every decision we make in our lives now always involves thinking about how it will effect and benefit our children.
• Bless your heart that you don’t think you need to know someone’s situation before calling them out on something you know nothing about.
• Bless your heart that you have the gall to say such things to us, especially in front of our children and start a fight with us in front of our children.
• Bless your heart that no matter what is said you will stick to your guns and insist you are correct and that the police should be called on such horrible violence as the threat of a pinch.
• Bless your heart that you actually think the police would arrest someone for lightly pinching their son, even though you didn’t actually witness said offense.
• Bless your heart that you have never had a three-year old and five-year old son at the same time that you have to keep safe and sound at all times, no matter what they do, where they run, what they jump off of, what strangers they think are safe to go talk to, what plugs they think they can stick things into, what chemicals they think they should spray in their eyes AND taste…
• Bless your heart that you think child rearing is only black and white, with no shades of grey.

So, to parents out there, whether they think they have the answers or are still searching for the answers, I say just one thing to you: “Awww… Bless your heart.”