Calling All Supermoms: And You Are ALL Supermoms

I haven’t blogged in a while and who knows when I’ll have a thought good enough to share again, but I felt like today was a good time to share this. Perhaps someone needs to hear it, or perhaps just I need to hear it. Maybe one or two will actually read it and once again I’ll feel totally exposed by opening up my thoughts and heart to others. But I’m hoping someone will realize their Supermom power with me. It’s a term that I’ve never felt describes me because of all my imperfections, but I’ve come to realize that we are all Supermoms. I’m hoping someone will have a glimpse at who they are and realize too that they aren’t inferior, unsuccessful, unimportant, unappreciated. I’m hoping someone will see that just being a mom who cares about and loves her kids in turn makes her Supermom. We don’t need to be Pinterest perfect. We don’t need to have it all together. By just caring for our kids, we have hidden powers, alternate identities, and strengths that we don’t even realize. So here goes…

Yesterday, as I was working on making their costumes, my kids asked me what I’m going to be for Halloween. I answered “I’m going to be a Mom-With-A-Baby-Strapped-To-Me-Who-Has-A-Dinosaur-Pet-Costume-Attached-To-His-Carrier because I saw it on Pinterest and it looked like a good idea for $5.” They gave me a look like I had two heads and I thought well, tomorrow I’ll have 3 heads… But then I had a thought (because you know, us moms have inner dialogues in our heads all day long) and decided at that moment that I’m also going to wear a cape too.

My cape isn’t a bright red cape with a giant S on it, or a glittery pink cape that grabs your attention. No, my cape is one with a few holes in it. It’s black, an understated color, and has been sitting in my kids’ closet for a long time. It has been there since he insisted I make him a Darth Vader costume so I went out and bought fabric and spent my time sewing him a costume and cape only to have him be given a fancy store-bought Vader costume by a generous grand parent. So there sits this sad little cape at the bottom of their toy closet, and this Halloween I’m claiming it as mine.

I’m going to wear this holey, understated, too small, inconspicuous cape that blends in with my black clothing on Halloween because for once I realized that I am Supermom. And that’s the kind of Supermom I am. I’m a little worn and ragged, like my cape. I’m not the kind of Supermom that stands out and screams “I’m a super hero, hear me roar!” My cape, like a lot of my clothes, is a little small. It’s not big enough to take me to the top of the world, but it’s just the right size to help me leap when I need to. It’s nothing fancy or shiny or new. It often goes unnoticed and doesn’t try and grab your attention but if you look close enough you just might see it. That’s me in a nutshell.

So it may be late, just the day before Halloween, but I challenge all of you moms out there to be the Supermom that you are. Find a cape that suits you, and wear it with honor this Halloween. And if someone asks what you are dressed as, you can proudly answer “I’m Supermom”.

You all are Supermoms. WE all are Supermoms. To the mom who takes care of her kids day in and day out with no sign of gratitude other than the possibility of a hug (and sometimes that hug is enough to make you cry): You are Supermom. To the “Martha Stewart Mom” who bakes all her fancy cupcakes and homemade soups and has her make-up perfect with a bow on top and we see you in the supermarket and are totally enamored and jealous of how much you’ve got it together, whether you really do or just look like you do: You are Supermom. To the mom who is about to have her 9^th child and her husband is always away on business so she is often the end-all and be-all to her family but feels like she’s at the bottom of a never-ending pit of laundry and errands and doctor’s appointments and house cleaning: You are Supermom. To the mom who has one child, her husband works from home and is very active with raising your child, who has a nice clean home as only a mom of one can have: You are Supermom. To the single mom who has to work to provide for her child and is too tired to think of her superpowers: You are Supermom. To the mom who gave up her child for adoption to give that child the life she wishes for her, who thinks about that child regularly but never gets to see the smile and love in her eyes as a mother deserves to see: You are Supermom. To the mom who adopted her child, who gets stupid, inconsiderate comments like “You became a mom the easy way”, who doesn’t openly wear a sign with her story to avoid such comments: You are Supermom. To the mom who went through years of hormones and tests and IVF and all that you endured to become a mom: You are a Supermom. To the mom who home schools her children, never getting a break, always trying to figure out how to best teach her child, doing everything in her power to have her child achieve their best and be their happiest: You are a Supermom. To the mom who sends her child to traditional school, who spends all day thinking about her kids and wondering how their day is going, if they are understanding their lessons, how much home work they will have tonight, worrying about bullies and all that goes on in school among their peers: You are Supermom. To the mom who feels guilty for all her imperfections and worries how they may be affecting her children: You are Supermom. To the mom who baby wears, carrying all the weight of her child herself: You are Supermom. To the mom who stays home to hand out candy so all the neighborhood children have a safe door to knock on and a bowl full of treats waiting for them: You are Supermom. To the mom who cosleeps: You are Supermom. To the mom who endures the “cry it out method”: You are Supermom. To the mom who buys expensive Halloween costumes for her kids so they can be the character they always wanted: You are Supermom. To the mom who makes her children’s costumes to show thriftiness or out of necessity to save money: You are Supermom. To ALL the different types of moms out there, with all her different stories and different backrounds and different emotions and feelings and worries and parenting styles: You are ALL Supermom.

 

So this Halloween, I invite you to wear your cape. Maybe it’s a sheet you pull out of the closet. Maybe it’s a fancy sparkly one. Maybe it’s a holy, child’s one. Maybe it’s a pretty store-bought one. Maybe it’s a home made one. Maybe it’s a big, huge cape that helps you soar to great heights. Maybe it’s a small, little one that helps you take leaps and big jumps because the idea of soaring with the eagles right now is a little too scary. Whatever cape represents you, wear your cape. Wear it proud. Wear it strong. YOU are Supermom.

Why We Started Homeschooling

WRITTEN OCTOBER - 2013

Well, we did it. We took the plunge! We have started McLain Institute of Technology (aka “MIT”). Two boys, one mommy, and one daddy who helps when he can (I write this after he just worked 87.5 hours last week, yet still had time to review Cub Scouts and Awana with both boys, plus do a few online lessons with our Kinderkid). Can’t forget the grandparents who are excellent at contributing to the extracurricular activities and moral support of the educators! When I say we started, I mean we JUST started… like last week. So, I will be trying to write on here and spare my Facebook friends of the home school details as much as I can.

The first thing we have learned about home schooling is that people ask “why” pretty quickly. The short answer is that we are homeschooling because it is what we have decided is best for our family. That's the answer we have been told by other homeschoolers to use when asked. It saves arguments, explanations, excuses, etc. Not everyone understands our choices, nor do they need to.

The medium-length answer is that it is what is best for our oldest son (now a first grader), Aidan, and our family. We are not happy with the school options we have here in Raleigh, NC. Yes, it is the 6th largest school district in the nation, but we have found that isn't always a positive thing. Our "base school" was not up to par, with many issues of its’ own, including low scores, low ratings, overfull classes, and more. That was Kindergarten. We switched him to a different school, a magnet, when he started first grade this August. It was our 5th choice school, and only on the list to get us out of our base school. We like the concept they switched to this year, a Leadership and Language Academy, based on Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", but when they went magnet, they became an "overflow" school and took on those problems, plus the ones they already had. PLUS, Aidan went from loving math to hating it in just one month. Not good for a kid who claims he was "born to build" and has wanted to be a builder/engineer since he could talk and tell us. He also started having some social anxieties and separation anxiety, which he never had until starting public school. Yes, we tried looking at other schools as an option. The “good schools” that are public in our area are mostly capped, hard to get in to. The Magnets (which are still public) are the same. The Charters are limited and also hard to get in to. So, we made the decision that was best for our son and family...

The long answer is all of the above, plus since before putting our oldest son (now about to turn 7) in Kindergarten last year, we battled with the decision of whether to home school or not. I home schooled his preschool on and off, learning while doing it that he has a mind that keeps on going and doesn't ever think small. This scared me so I wanted to try and have someone “more patient” work with him. I learned that I can't let it scare me and need to let his mind grow and I'll just try and keep up. I also learned that no one will be as patient with my kid as I will. His Dad and I have his best interest in mind, not someone who has 24 other students to worry about.





Because Building Makes Our World Go 'Round (also pajama day)

I don't home school to make geniuses that can speak 6 languages by the age of 3, or read The Iliad by 5… I home school to help my children become the best them they can be, hopefully. I home school to nurture their minds, not hinder them. I home school to keep them interested in learning. I home school to help them find what makes them who they are but better. I home school to help Aidan “build” his mind. I home school Noah to help him find what interests him most. I home school to use the tools that peak my children’s interest. I home school to teach them God comes first.


I’ve always admired home school moms. I’ve categorized those moms in a league of their own. Have always said that I can tell a “home school mom” apart from others because they are more patient, more calm, use everything as a life lesson, speak kinder to their children, softer to their children, have better behaved children. They have an air about them, are closer to God, have a “home school glow”… and so on. I’m not one of those moms. I’m not patient. I’m not calm. I don’t glow. Right now I just pray. A LOT. And I pray mostly for grace. Because I could tell before we got on this ride that it’s going to take grace to get every one in my family, ESPECIALLY ME, through this. But it is what is best for our family.



MIT School Room

So, here we are, the beginning of October, 2013. We have a 1^st grader in MIT, and have advanced Noah to Kindergarten. North Carolina wouldn’t put Noah in Kindergarten until next year, but he is basically where Aidan was with his reading and math when Aidan started Kindergarten, so we are trying to have Noah in Kindergarten. We will see how that goes. I was planning on having both boys do their Bible study, Science, Art, Architecture, and Music together and have them do their Reading/Writing and Math separately. Noah is insisting on doing everything Aidan does. So, I am letting him do it at his pace for now. Considering there is much review in the curriculum for Aidan right now, Noah can follow along pretty well however I’m guessing that there will wind up being more of a gap between them in upcoming weeks. As I’ve been told “it’s a lot of trial and adjustment” to home school your kids and at some point you realize, somewhere along the line, you got it right. I’m hoping that is the case.

So for now, we start MIT with a lot of prayer. We pray for:

·         GRACE

·         Patience

·         Obedience

·         Wisdom

·         And that I don’t screw up my kids too far beyond God’s ability to repair

Feel free to pray for our family too! This is what is best for our family.

OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OTBS #36 - Till Stench Do Us Part

OK, So I have to tell you, this is absolutely true. All of my "On The Bright Side" posts are true, but this sounds so outlandish that I have to tell you ahead of time it is 100% true and happened today! UY!!!!


While walking through the supermarket with my husband and two sons, we start to notice a horrible stench. We come to realize that the horrible stench is coming from, yep, you guessed it: ME! I asked my youngest "Does Mommy smell bad?" His response was, "PEEE U Mommy! You stink!" My husband agreed and started walking several feet away from me. He told me I smelled like bad B.O. I was mortified! I had been to church, out to lunch with my family, and now was in the supermarket apparently offending everyone. The only thing we could think of was that I had some garlic in my dinner last night and I must be sweating it out.

So, we drove home, with the windows wide open because I was filling up the car with my assumed body odor. As soon as I got in the house I stripped down to a) see if the smell was coming from me or my clothing and b) take the longest, hottest shower possible to get rid of the odor. What should I find as I tore off my clothing (out of disgust) but a grilled onion stuck in my cleavage from falling out of my burger at lunch! AN ONION!!!! I had been offending my family and the world with an onion in my cleavage! UGH! Mommydome! (Or should I say Mommy-dumb?)


On The Bright Side: While gagging my husband at the supermarket, he informed me that I have NEVER smelled so bad - EVER. In all our years of marriage, through all the kids' projectile vomiting on mommy, dirty diapers, flu seasons, Rotovirus hospitalizations, morning sickness... through it all, the good news is that I have NEVER SMELLED SO BAD - ever.

PLUS, I apparenlty smelled so bad that I helped us get through the line faster as I literally "cleared the way" with my 3 foot radius of stench! (Hubby just informed me as he read this over my shoulder that is was more like a 4-foot radius)


PS - I don't know if I have ever been so embarassed in my life! That's what I get for trying to put stickers on my son's toy car while eating my lunch - mommy multi tasking as usual.

OTBS #35 - Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid...

  My 4 and 6 year old boys insisted that I stay upstairs in bed as they had been making breakfast all morning. I am afraid, very afraid…

On The Bright Side: When I went down stairs there was no mess.

On The Dark Side: They made Doritos, apple sauce and Nerds for breakfast.

On The Brighter Side: They didn’t make any for me!

OTBS #34 - Always Blue Skies

We are on our way to the beach. The car is loaded with snacks, beach toys, sunscreen, supplies, all of us and an extra kid to boot. And now it's starting to rain.

On The Bright Side: There's always a blue sky behind the clouds.

OTBS #33 - Professional Catcher

         All of a sudden my three year old has gotten in the habit of putting so much food in his mouth to eat that he is literally choking on his food now. I’ve had to Heimlich him a couple of times and he has thrown up from choking on his food more than a handful of times.

On The Bright Side: From all the years of my other child, the gagger, throwing up I’ve become an expert vomit catcher. Yep. I can catch projectile vomit in my hands like a pro. At the sign of a gag my hands turn into catchers' mitts and save all sorts of things from clothing to carpets to beds to perfectly good plates of food… Yep. That’s part of my job description as a mom now. Spectacular.

WHO AM I?

Who am I?

What is my purpose?

Why am I here?

Who am I supposed to be?

What am I supposed to do?

Am I doing all that I should?

Am I being the person I am meant to be?

For as long as I can remember I have asked myself these questions over and over, in various ways. I have often felt lost, or not understood my purpose. I feel like I am constantly trying to figure that out, especially since I became a mom. I know the obvious answers, that as a Christian I am supposed to:

• Lead by example.
• Love everyone.
• Show God’s love to everyone.
• Raise my children to love (and fear) God.
• Thrive to be as Christ-like as I can in this world (always ask “What would Jesus do?”).

But I still often feel lost.

We all know the verse “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (Jeremiah 1:5). This is a comforting verse. It means that God planned us, each and every one of us. God had a plan for each of us, our very own plan. It’s an amazing, comforting, overwhelming, and scary thought.

Well, this Sunday, at our wonderful new church Crossroads Fellowship, Pastor Chuck Milian opened my eyes, as he frequently does, to something incredible! He quoted verses and explained something further. If you can, I suggest going to the website and listening to the sermon from this past Sunday. If you can’t listen to the whole thing go to the last ¼ of the sermon. If I could figure it out I would link to just that portion of the sermon and put it up here, but I can’t so you will have to do a little leg work… But it’s worth it. Go there now! (Pick the sermon "Fault Lines: 7 Dimensions of Disaster  Week 3: Degenerations") 

What I can do is paraphrase what he said, in how it touched me, and share that with you. But really, go listen to the sermon…

Background verses:

¹⁷ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. (Revelation 2:17 NIV)

¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)

3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,^[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:1-2 NIV)

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV)

What does this mean? Well, in the Revelations verse, the white stone has our name written on it. The background history is that back in the day, there were two reasons someone would receive a white stone. The first was in court, when a judge would deem someone free to go and that they weren’t guilty they would receive a white stone from him to prove his innocence. By God giving us a white stone it is His way of telling us our sins are forgiven, that we are not guilty, and are free. The second reason you would receive a white stone in biblical days was when a rich man would invite you to a feast. It was an invitation. By us receiving a white stone with our name on it means that Jesus has also given us a ticket to enter into the feast in the Kingdom of God. Pretty great, right?

But what does this also mean? That name that is written on the stone is the name that God gave to us. It is known only to the one who reads it. It is the name that God named us in the womb, before we were in the womb in fact, and it is the person He created us to be! WOW! And when we die, and are at the gates of heaven, and receive this stone that is meant only for us, we will each and every one of us learn our true name! And at that very moment we will KNOW who we are! We will know our purpose. We will know why we were in existence. We will know what our true accomplishments on this earth were and what they meant to God. We will know, without a doubt, our purpose and our identity as defined by God!

WOW! How profound this message was. So WHO AM I? I ask? Well, for all my struggling to try and figure out who I am, God has known all along. God has my purpose. God knows me. God defines me! Someday I will know the answer, but right now all I need to know is that God knows.

I don’t know how I can carry this with me from now on but I am going to try. When I feel lost, I am going to imagine my white stone, with my true name on it as God wrote it, waiting for me, because God loves me.

I emplore you to go on and view the sermon. It’s eye opening to say the least. I don't do it justice.